Love is kind of a fragile emotion

Leucosticte

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#1
When you're a teenager, adults will say, "You're not in love; you're just infatuated" without explaining very clearly what's the difference.

Mainly, the difference is that infatuation comes from knowing very little about the other person, but just being attracted to a few observable (and often superficial) qualities, and filling in the rest of the gaps in your knowledge with fantasy about what you hope the other person is like.

All love is like that to some extent, though. It amounts to giving the other person the benefit of the doubt; finding some way to interpret how they are and what they do in a positive way.

This makes it kind of a fragile emotion, because all it takes for that to turn to hate, is to flip the switch and interpret all that stuff in a negative way instead. We've all seen the memes where the same behavior that's cute in Chad would be creepy in an incel. But it can be the same way when a chick has decided she's no longer in love with a guy.

Another thing about love is that it can be superseded by some better option that comes along. So for example, some chick may say, "I love you" when she thinks you're her best option, but then some hotter, more popular, etc. Chad comes along. She could be capable of sleeping with him because she loves him even more.

If we were in an Adam and Eve type of situation, this would not be a big deal, but we live in a world of 7 billion people, many of whom have more to offer than we do. Hypergamy never sleeps; no one has security, because Chad can always be upstaged by another Chad, and a betabuxx can always lose his betabuxx if something goes wrong in his career (e.g. his skill set becomes obsolete or whatever), plus there's the fact that foids have a dual mating strategy in which they try to attract both Chads and betas.

Men are the same way; men would like to keep some hot, sexy, crazy bitch around for wild sex, and also have some more stable, reliable chick around to take care of the home and the kids.

Another thing about love is that it doesn't necessarily get people to do what you want. It can even be a liability. If a chick loves me at a particular moment, I might think, "Cool, I can trade in this love for some pussy." Let's say, though, that later on, she decides to leave me, or go sleep with Chad, or whatever. She then has to come up with some justification for what she did, that doesn't contradict what she said earlier, about how she loved me; e.g. she may decide she needs to find some way to blame me for her falling out of love with me, or for her betrayal. So she's going to make some sort of false accusation.

After you've been burned by people who said they loved you, you realize, it doesn't really offer you security. The love your parents have for you is more stable, because unlike the other 7 billion people in the world, you share their DNA. They've invested in you (hopefully). The love a girl has for the guy who deflowers her also has a certain amount of stability because she pair bonds with him.

But anyone else? It's kind of a matter of convenience. And I say this as someone who went to the slammer for 46 months, where it was not convenient for people to write.

Fondness is a pleasant emotion, but at the end of the day, what do emotions really mean? What can we cash them in for?

People do a lot of stuff that goes against their emotions, in fact. People don't feel like going to work, but they go because they want that cold hard cash, since they fear being homeless, or they want to provide for the family members whom they love, etc. In contrast, people will flake out on volunteer work, even if they said they loved the cause.

Anger in some ways can actually be a stronger emotion than love, because it can get people to go to certain extremes that love might not be able to.
 

Mainländer

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#2
The most stable type of love is motherly love without a doubt, but some people are so unlucky that even their mothers die early, sometimes even during childbirth, or even outright abandon or mistreat them during infancy/childhood.

I think the word "love" as it appears in English and most western languages is very defective. Because it means so many different types of feelings.

Romantic love is 100% superficial. It's by definition dependent on your body. The very gender distinction contained in your orientation (straight, gay, etc) demonstrates that.

If it didn't depend on your body there would be no such thing as a straight or gay person. It also wouldn't be considered wrong to date someone much younger, for example. Also, physical appearance wouldn't matter.

The Sanskrit name for that is "Meta", true, indiscriminating love. "Raga", on the other hand, is the discriminating, selfish, dependent on beautiful physical forms, love (romantic/sexual love).
 
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